Look, Dwellers, I have to be completely honest with you. There are a whole bunch of writers out there who think that there are all these trends forming in the middle of May that could carry through the season. You're going to hear a whole bunch of people telling you Cy Young winners already and a few division clinchers while you're at it. I want you to ignore most of what they're saying. Because, people, it's MAY. NOT JULY. MAY.

I know I'm about to dash a few dreams to pieces, but somebody's gotta tell it like it is. And that's what I'm here for. So, let's begin with...

 The Chicago White Sox. Sorry, folks. I don't see this trend keeping up throughout the summer. Yes, I know they're in a weak division and have one of the best pitching staffs in the league. But given past history (because, really, that's what predictions in baseball are based on), the Sox will be turning black again. El Duque won 17 games a while ago. Jose Contreras isn't capable of anything, not even working as a number 5 starter. I'll give you Mark Buehrle - he's the real deal - but Jon Garland and his career 4.56 ERA are coming to Earth reaaaaalll soon. And remember that a bullpen by committee almost NEVER works. So everyone who's calling Ozzie Guillen a genius, put a sock in it. The Minnesota Twins haven't figured it all out yet, but they will in the near future.

How 'bout them New York Yankees? I'd like to quote myself for a moment: "The Big Unit will get on track. Carl Pavano will settle down. The bats will wake up. And Mo Rivera will save another 45-50. It disheartens me to write all that, but as a impartial judge of the game, it's true." I started hating all those stories on ESPN.com and in the Times that began grumbling about what the Yanks were going to do. Why? Because it was only a matter of time. While I think they're more vulnerable than ever and that Tino Martinez can't be Superman forever, another AL East title is just plain inevitable. Speaking of which...

Attention, Baltimore Orioles! Will the following players please join Jon Garland in the Coming Down to Earth line: Brian Roberts. Bruce Chen. Daniel Cabrera. Erik Bedard. (pause) That is all. Miguel Tejada, you can and will hit 150 RBI again.

Now, here's an article I can't stand. Mr. Kurkjian: I really really respect you as a baseball writer and think you're one of the best in the biz. But the Arizona Diamondbacks aren't going to be playoff-bound come October. This team doesn't have a proven ace, and their starting pitching includes a few ex-Yanks who have looked dazzling at times, but do you believe that Javier Vazquez can actually live up to his potential? A few years ago he was a 20-game winner, easily. And Russ Ortiz is up to his old antics, throwing junk. I commend the Brandons - Lyon (I had him on my fantasy team until I traded him for C.C. Sabathia) and Webb - for looking good so early, but I think this team is a couple of years away, especially when the Dodgers and Giants (when all of their stars come back from injury) are in your division. They can hit, I'll admit that. Then again, they're starting Royce Clayton. Ugh.

What we are going to see in the next month is a team really catch fire and begin winning something like 15 of their next 18. I'm nominating the Tigers who have the bats (and a kid named Nook) and a few young arms who could come alive soon. I'd also really like to see the Texas Rangers really take off. Chan Ho Park looks marginally better and Chris Young has some potential.

How 'bout some comments on what to write next? Give me a topic...I'll cover it. We'll call next week "Viewer's Choice."

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